The Snowflakes Turn Into Snot…I Swear!
Global Warming is real. If you didn’t believe it before, than this winter should give you all the evidence you need. The tornadoes plaguing the US in the last week have wreaked havoc, and the lack of snow and cold all winter has led to unseasonably warm weather and very little precipitation. This is why when it started snowing this morning, I expected it to die out very quickly. The large snowflakes gave me hope that it would. However, they turned into small flakes, and it most certainly didn’t die out. However, I had a run scheduled for today, and I wasn’t going to miss it.
I logged 24.5 miles yesterday despite another windy day, and needed to get in another long run to keep up with my training. Although I wasn’t certain it would be snowing, I still planned to meet a friend and head out- accountability and peer pressure are wonderful things sometimes! By the time I left, it was snowing at a pretty solid clip, with no signs of slowing. As we continued, it became clear that it was only going to get worse, and sure enough, it did. It got heavier and our visibility disappeared faster than a group of college kids after the cops bust a house party. None-the-less, we pushed forward, determined to get through it.
Now, normally I bring a pocketful of tissues on long runs. However, I had emptied my pockets yesterday, and forgot to restock. As if on que, my nose apparently became aware of this fact, and decided to run along with me. My friend and I almost simultaneously commented on the excessive amounts of snot dripping from our noses- perhaps our noses were racing. At the same time, as is always the case, dehydration began to set in just enough to remind us to keep drinking water, despite the magic of the cold to make us forget.
That’s when it all started to make sense. How on earth could I still be mopping up the snot coming out of my nose after I had lost so much moisture. Clearly, the only solution was that our bodies secretly turn precipitation into snot. It makes perfect sense. I’ll keep wiping my nose with my gloves,
which are covered with snow, thus putting the snow right back on and in my nose, and the cycle repeats itself. It’s a good thing most running gloves are inherently made to double as tissues.
Luckily, I was at least somewhat distracted from the race I was having with my snot by the snow building up in my shoes. I love the shoes I’m running in right now, but the concave design of the sole serves as a perfect container for the wet snow on the ground. This in turn means I find myself needing to stop every 1/4 miles to dig a snowball out of my heels. Now, if I was out on the playground, this would be great. However, for distance running, this becomes annoying. I finally stopped back at home to pick up my ice cleats, which definitely helped, but the flaw in my soles remains.
Maybe, through some strange scientific oddity, the snowballs in my heels are converted, through osmosis, into snot, which is then excreted through my nose, which I then wipe up with my gloves, which I use to dig the snow out of my heels. Are you seeing a pattern here? Coincidence- I think not!